I wonder how many other men out there are familiar with, or adhere to, the concept of Winter Beard. Winter beard may have dozens upon dozens of other names or euphamisms that I’m not aware of, but in it’s most basic form is a beard that comes along with the onset of winter, keeping it’s grower warm and toasty on cold days, providing heightened senses of strength and might, and generally enabling the winter bearded to scoff at those whose wilting manliness doth not allow for facial hair.  Winter beard is not to be confused with the female equivalent, Winter Bush (Will…not…post…link…)

Any how, Winter Beard is generally off putting to the ladies. It’s scruffy, and unkempt, and it causes chapped lips, and it reminds the ladies of one more thing that is physically impossible for most of them. Kind of like peeing your name in the snow. In fact, that’s how most Winter Beards are eliminated, at the bequest of a significant other. Here’s the thing, though, The Wife loves the Winter Beard. Loves it. Likes to scratch it, and touch it, and groom it, like we’re a pair of silver backs in the Congo.

I’ve tried to come up with a reasoning for this behavior.  I think it’s due to the fact that during the key stage of Winter Beard, the molting stage, The Wife was out of town on business. The molting stage is generally the stage when girlfriends, wives, mothers, et al. grow tired of winter beard; it is at it’s most scraggly and unkempt, before it blossoms into the soft, downy bed of straw that we all know and love. She missed this stage, and once she returned, the manstache was feathery soft, drawing her in like a sale at Macy’s.

So now I’m faced with a new, uncharted dilemma; trying to find an exit strategy for Winter Beard. I’m wondering if there might be some specific calendar date, or tempature threshold at which the grisly attache is no longer allowed. Any insight from the masses is much appreciated.

I’m generally a very inquisitive person, always open to learning new things, and so far as I can tell, I’ve always been that way. And while I was never really interested in the sciences, and I’ve never been quite as creative in the arts as I would wish to be, I have gotten the basics down. Reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic have always come naturally to me, for whatever reason.

I don’t really feel the need here and now to discuss my mastery of the mathematical component of the ‘Three R’s’. I believe my choice of profession speaks to my competence in that arena. I have wanted, though, for quite some time, to try and write about my appreciation for the tasks of reading and writing, not just for the purpose of gaining knowledge, or advancement of professional career, but for the sheer enjoyment of them.

I have always been a reader. I will read just about anything, and there exists much evidence to prove that statement true, as well. I enjoy the knowlege that newspapers, magazines, or journals bring, but most of all, I like entertaining, well-written stories, whether they be fictional or true. I very much enjoy the path that a good writer can and will take a reader down, as he weaves a story, and creates a picture in our minds using on words. I like the feeling of not wanting to put a good book down, reading just one more chapter, until you look up, and it’s 3:00 AM, and you’ve gotten to the last page. When it comes to fiction, good writers tell a story in intricate detail, but great authors know what details to leave out, allowing the imagination of the reader to fill in the final details, making the story individual to everyone who reads it.

The idea of such a thing fascinates me, and the desire to effect others as I’ve been effected by the great writers that I’ve had the pleasure of reading has always led me to want to write a book of my own. I’ve even developed a few ideas myself, and want to attempt to document them here for the first time; in part, to move them out of my own mind and onto or into some form of media for archival purposes, but also in the hopes that someone more knowledgeable than I am in regards to writing fiction might lend their insight to the development of my ideas. With nothing further to add, I include both outlines for critique here:

Story Outline #1

The first idea for a fictional work that I’ve rolled around in my head involves a man returning to his small southern home town, which he hasn’t visited in quite some time. He arrives with little more than the car that he’s driving, the clothes on his back, and a duffel bag, the contents of which are initially unknown, but which we soon find out is filled with cash. The last time that most of his family saw him was at his wedding, but when he returns to town, his wife is not with him. He takes up in the local motel, even though his mother, a typical southern matriarch (A wise caretaker, with a dash of crazy), and his sister, both live in the town, and can accomodate him. Throughout the course of the story, we find out that the man’s wife has died. The story would examine the man’s relationship with his family, and how he deals with his own loss, though the course of his return to town. The plot would center around the money; where it came from, and what to do with it, and the actions that the man and his family take to resolve both of these things. Ultimately, the book deals with the resiliency of the human spirit, and the different ways in which we can find happiness, and love.

For some reason, as I develop these stories in my own brain, they come with soundtracks; I suppose in preparation for their ultimately successful development as major motion pictures. Go figure. Regardless, I imagine this story with a accompanying soundtrack consisting of tracks by Ben Harper, The Blind Boys of Alabama, The Black Keys, and, quite possibly. The Dixie Chicks. That’s right, the Dixie Chicks.

Story Outline #2

This story involves a man who seems to be living the perfect life. He has a wonderful wife, two or three children, the nice house, and the well paying job. It’s all there for him. Until one day, the man just disappears. Literally, just up and leaves, taking a flight to a small island in the caribbean, without telling his wife, or children, or boss, and without even saying goodbye. The man takes a job on a fishing boat that goes out from the main docks of the small island daily, carrying tourists wanting to haul in big trophy fish, and becomes a regular at a local island bar, which is tended by a crazy, but endearing older woman. If this story was written by Jimmy Buffett, her name would be Esmerelda. In my mind she is as yet unnamed.

Back in the states, the man’s family, led by his previously estranged father, attempt to track him down. His wife is scared for him, but also angry, and isn’t sure she really wants to find him, once her initial shock wears off. The story would examine the complexities of daily life and how they affect our attempts to be happy, and even our percetption of what happiness is, and the conflict hinges on the man’s decision to stay on the island or return to his old life, once he’s been found and confronted by his father, who has his own agenda.

A corporate rock soundtrack, with a pinch of Bob Marley and the Wailers, would be developed for the screen adaptation.

The Decision

Both of these initial ideas have been packed into the dark recesses of my brain for quite some time. I have always said that I want to advance and develop one or both of them further, and to see where things went from there. I have neither the time, nor the abilities to develop both of these story ideas at the same time, so what I would like to see are a few comments about which story seems more interesting, or more capable of being developed into something more substantial.  Discuss.

(Author’s Note: I wrote this post a short while ago, and have been delayed in getting it on to the site, and have since began developing one of these ideas already. However, because I want to get honest opinions about both of them, and because it hasn’t been developed past about one or two chapters, I want to refrain from saying which that I thought was the more interesting idea, and already began to work on. Hopefully, popular opinion matches my own. If not, I may just need to rethink the whole thing.)