So, as I made mention of in my SEC Picks last week, I made the trip down to Knoxville this past weekend to take in the sights and sounds surrounding the Ole Miss-Tennessee game. I didn’t tell many people that I was going (including, apparently, some of the people that I was meeting), but I decided to at the last minute, because I’d never been to Knoxville before, and after hearing so many things about the game day atmosphere I was fairly excited about seeing it for myself. Since returning, I’ve decided to grade the town and the school based on my weekend experience. I also realized that, despite my love for all things SEC football, I really haven’t been to all that many SEC stadiums (about half) so hopefully as I visit more I’ll be able to grade them as well, and I’ll get a better idea of how they all stack up. Let’s start from the beginning.

Proximity to D.C.

Part of what made this trip so attractive to me was the distance from my home. For sure, Knoxville is not just a hop, skip and jump from our nation’s capital, but considering that I have to fly to most all games that I go to, being able to drive was something that I thought would be a nice change of pace, and a bit of a money saver. However, a six and a half to seven hour drive, while definitely doable, is not really optimal out of Friday evening D.C. traffic and some of the most redneck, hillbilly highways and interstates this side of the movie Deliverance. It took me an hour and a half to drive the first 20 miles on Friday night, and at one point I was afraid to stop for gas for fear of having to interact with the locals. Just to put that in perspective, I’ve stopped at gas stations in southeast D.C. well after midnight without thinking twice. At least when I go to Oxford, or Baton Rouge, or wherever else, I know I’ll have to fly. Knoxville just teases you with it’s drivability, and then smacks you in the face if you actually try it.

Proximity to D.C. grade - D

Tailgating

I was shocked on Saturday morning as we walked around, and tailgating was virtually non-existent, and those that were tailgating, were doing it poorly, in parking garages, or, horror of horrors, on their tailgates. Tailgating doesn’t have to have happen in big grassy areas like the grove, or with chandeliers and fine china, like so many people seem to think happens with regularity at Ole Miss, but some effort has to be put in. I think the layout of the campus around the stadium has something to do with it, but no grills, no central congregation of people, and effort at all gets no passing grade for Vol tailgating.

Tailgating grade - F

Atmosphere

The atmosphere before the game, even with the lack of tailgating, wasn’t terrible. There were quite a few people up early and milling around outside the stadium. We made our way to the Volunteer Grill, which sits behind Neyland on the river. I was once again shocked that the Vol Navy, which I had heard so much about, consisted of about seven or eight boats, with only one or two containing any visible signs of life, in the form of orange clad tailgaters. The Vol Grill though, was quite nice, with a towering view of the stadium, and an outside bar packed with at least as many Ole Miss fans as Volunteers.

Atmosphere grade - C-

Fans

Are there sororities at the University of Tennessee? Or salads? Because if the answer to either of those questions is yes, then you could have fooled me. I see as many beautiful women walking from my car to the Grove at Ole Miss as I saw the whole day in Knoxville. And I’ve never seen so few good looking lady folks and so many bald, fat sleeveless T-shirt wearing old men in all my life. With that said, there weren’t all that many rude Vol fans, even though the ones that were tring to be ‘nice’ did so in such a way as to come off as condescending. Note to Vol fan: We don’t care what you think about David Cutcliffe, and we’re tired of explaining why he was fired. So shut up.

Fans grade - C-

Stadium

When people told me that Neyland Stadium held 105,000+, I thought that they meant that there were 105,000+ seats, not that there were 75,000 seats that they fit 105,000+ people into. However, other than my knees bumping into the person in front of me, and someone else’s knees bumping into my back for three hours, the stadium was pretty cool. The sound system was good, and the people that run the video showed a pretty impressive series of clips with Reggie White, who was being honored, and of highlights of the Vols previous weeks game against the Tigahs.

Stadium grade - C+

Band

Best part of the day in my opinion. Watching the team run out through the big T was pretty cool, and Tennessee’s band is absolutely enormous. They also played ‘Forward Rebels’ before the game, which wasn’t really suprising, as I knew that they played the opponents’ fight song before every game, but it was cool nonetheless. Also, in the second half, the band moved from section to section in the upper deck, playing right in front of the fans, which was very cool. The only gripe? They apparently didn’t have enough time to learn a second song. Either that, or they just knew that the UT fans weren’t smart enough to learn the words to a second song.

Band grade - B

Nightlife

Not bad. The bars aren’t as good as Oxford, but there are a lot more of them. One question though, for not one, but TWO of the bars on the strip. If you’re going to open a drinking establishment on the most popular strip in Knoxville, what makes you think that make it a cash only bar, and serving only beer, and in one case, only three types of beer, is a good idea?

Nightlife grade - B

Overall

Overall, not a bad weekend. But some publication ranked SEC roadtrips a few weeks back, and put Tennessee, at the top of the list, and I’m just not seeing it. There are, at minimum, three places I can think of that I’d rather go, and remember, I’ve only been to half of the SEC venues.

Overall grade - C-

Oh yeah, pictures can be found right here.